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now i see love [06 May 2004|12:01am]
have been listening to too much music lately.

everything makes me want to cry right now and i wont be able to sleep for a while.

everything seems like it is so disconnected from me that i could just not be here and it would all be the same.

theres 85 cents worth of change on my desk and that seems more important than all of the things that ive ever done.

do our whole lives feel like they do when we are seventeen and stupid. and when does love start to matter? or when does it stop mattering.

i dont understand anything right now.

(say something?)

what gives amy? [03 May 2004|07:14am]
emo?? me??

whats the deal amy. hehe.

that hurt.

(say something?)

bird stealing bread. [02 May 2004|10:34pm]
today was one of those days.

beauty abounds and joy is no longer a specialty.

everybody should buy the creek drank the cradle and listen to it forever.

read a lot of the great gatsby and it is so fucking lovely.

i think i am going to make a lovely drunk one day.

i also like to sniff glue and not exercise.

i hear tell that amys coming up on saturday and thats pretty groove heavy. amy is a nice girl.

hmm. i still didnt finish my research paper stuff.

went for a walk before it rained and laid on grass. i worked really hard this morning and it made me feel like a man. i am looking forward to the spring and just the month of may in general.

i am a happy man.

you know who i am already,

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i dug every word. [27 Apr 2004|09:15pm]
niva dinova are pretty bitching. i like the basic, country feel they have. they are so honest. hehe. i wish i were honest.

my younger brother acts like he is my older brother, and i dont mind

i fall asleep on couches and my parents are gentle and they leave me asleep. its no good being tired though, and i feel thickheaded when i am.

i think a good arguement against the linear progression of time would be to do this, for three months write down the things that bother you the most, im not talking about little things, im talking about the things that feel like they are changing your life. unless you had a particularly vivid three months, the things that bother you will most likely be one or two key things. how can time be moving forward when our emotions are stuck in a cycle?

there is wind coming in from my window, and it is cold and beautiful and shaking leaves of my tree. i love when it feels like winter but the trees have budded.

also, my house smells like a heating pad.

i watched high fidelity, and i swear to god those guys are me. i dont know if thats a bad thing since they are self described losers, but thats how my mind works. hehe.

you could do worse than to have rob gordon be the guy you identify with.

characters from books who i could see me being like

1. holden caufield
2. stephen dedalus
3. new york writer(froma steve martin story)
4.jake barnes
5. cpt. woodrow call(lonesome dove)
6. rabo karabekian (kurt vonnegut)
7. sal paradise.

that wasnt just an exercise in me showing i read books, i dunno. you can call me conceited if you want. i like lists.


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joining the baptist church. [26 Apr 2004|09:15pm]
been listening to a lot of son house. hehe i love black guitar players. theyre so old and tough and mean looking. they are farm workers and convicts and killers and preachers and they make this music that is just so primal. i cant even take it.

i love the blues.


ill be glad when ive finally turned into who im becoming.

(say something?)

Deloris! [26 Apr 2004|05:31pm]
it must be really hard to name your kids. cuz if you give them a name that is easy to rhyme with any type of sexual organ then they are just going to be fucked.

today was my grandmothers birthday. my dad bought her sticky buns because there was no cake at the bakery.

hmm. does anyone think it looks good when you slick back your hair, cuz i do. but i think im the only one.

also, i like to eat out at places that are kind of seedy.

i also like driving.

and i like the rain.

i have to worst live journal ever.


(say something?)

bees knees [23 Apr 2004|11:37pm]
thought about bees a lot today.

theyre such a vital part of the eco-system. its just wonderful.

theyre like big lazy balloons...man,

i never get tired of bees.


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listen to me bitch. [22 Apr 2004|09:56pm]
oh i swore id never bitch on live journal but i am. hehe. walked in the rain, wore my emo pants. also a scarf. i feel like im dying. what the fuck is this.

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did your hand ever feel like it was two hands? [20 Apr 2004|10:28pm]
mood: pretty fine.

music:leonard cohen.

today i realized something, i cant remember if it was when i was doing coke in the bathroom or whippets in the parking lot, but i realized today that i have a drug problem. now on most days this would be something that worried me, but since today was 4/20 it was simply an exscuse to get my ass tore up!

and let me assure you, my ass has been finely shredded.

jk. i didnt do any drugs today. im too cool for that. i had a really nice day tho.

things i like about spring:
1. the way light falls through clouds.
2. falling asleep on my couch.
3. i can wear pants and people go, "arent you hot?" and i say "no, im fine."
4. the way there are more bugs.

oh get this,
nick wore a kilt today, it was totally crazy. pure nick. hehe.

also, nate wants to cut his hair and i think its a good idea.

also also, finished up my poem book and had to get another one. the lady at barnes and noble was so close to calling me an "art fag", i could see it on her lips. but instead she just said "have a nice day" and the battle was averted for another day.

i guess ill stop typing now,

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sundays = fun days. [18 Apr 2004|11:34pm]
today was neat. i almost did a lot of things but ended up doing a few fun things. went for a bike ride and listened to sleater kinney. say many blooming flowers and felt my hair whip back as i went down hills. everything is so exciting with a bike. i cant even take it.

finished up my william carlos williams drawing, my mom agreed that it looked like williams but my dad insisted that it looked more like richard brautigan, i countered by saying that it if it resembled any of the beat poets it was more like kerouac than anything, at which point my brother entered the room with the fascinating angle that the face looked like an arshile gorky if he were a poet instead of a painter. this diffused the mounting tension, at which point my dad and i shared a laugh and my mom shook her head " you boys," she said. " its like comparing modernism/pointillism with you two." we all laughed at that. then my dad hit my mom real hard on the mouth. then i got drunk.

watched kill bill today. that movie is something else. i dont want to talk about it on here, but boy oh boy. man...hehe...whoo....

oh my ,
i didnt do any of my homework.

fuck it.



(say something?)

musings [18 Apr 2004|12:49am]
hmm...amy, read your response. you are a neat one, i tell you. and its true, we are the same, which makes it ok for me to kiss nate as much as i do....now how many of you saw that joke coming? hehe. ahh. well, hmm, amy. hehe. amy gets a thumbs up if only because she called us good looking. for the record, i dont actually write pomes, i just trick people into thinking i do so that they will exscuse the frequency of my hissy fits.

hmmm. had o.m. competition today. my team won first place, which officially makes me better than all of you. it was really really nice out, did anybody catch that?

look at me, bandying about words like 'anybody' and acting like people are actually reading this. hehe.

i found a really cool picture of my dad when he was twenty or so from his trip to germany, its him and some german guy standing in front of huge beer casks drinking. i think its cool.

hmm. gonna start that cesmots soon.

also, my hair is inexplicably greasy.

going to wash my hair,

(hope amy and nate had fun dancing and being cute!)

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first post bitches [16 Apr 2004|11:31am]
you got me amy!

i always said i was anti-journal and i meant it. hehe. but i want to do that writing community thing so i have to have one. meep. umm. i guess that i am a boy, and am fairly tall. my mom says im handsome, but my dad says to not get my hopes up. i like to write poems and gaze out of windows. sometimes i think about being a flower or buzzing like a bee. i never listen to music as loud as i want to and i desperatly want a record player. i guess live journal is alright, but it doesnt matter cuz amy is the only one whos going to read this anyway.

amy is the coolest, thats the general consensus around these here parts. in lehighton we say things like 'these here parts', you get used to it....my my. listen to me blather on. hehe.

i guess that i will post here sometimes.

yours in kicking-it-old-schooledness,

(say something?)

[11 Apr 2004|11:53pm]
Dear Mike,
So this is your new Live Journal. You'll use it. Not just because it is a Live Journal, and therefore is fun and popular and chic (it is always nice to be chic), but because I specifically coded it for you. I personalized the background and the user picture, so it's Mikearific. You can add friends to your friends page, therefore making it easy and simple to catch up on them. I added myself for you, although you may secretly detest and loathe me, and you're scornful now, what with me being on your friends page. Anyway. I also added cesmots, the writing community. I also made you a member. Here are your instructions. To post in this personal journal, just log in (I told you the information) and go to the "journal" tab, then, "update." Write your entry, yadda yadda, then click the "update journal" buttons. To write in the cesmots community (a piece of writing, I mean), do the same as above. But before clicking the "update journal" button, click the link that reads "...For more options, click here" link. There should be a "journal to post in" option, and you want to select "cesmots." Then click the button as explained above. Oh Mike, I'm so glad you have a journal now. Wooo, weee. And with that, goodnight. You are so lucky to have me to introduce you to such amazing things. Technology, oh wonderous technology. Woo! I now depart, Michael. Enjoy the fruits of my labor.
Your best friend,
Amy (cadilacmetallic)

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